Motherhood

The thought of one day being a mother has always made my heart smile. Now that I’m married, I actually have had to think about that being a soon reality. That puts a twist of fear into the mix. That has forced me to think about all of the realities that motherhood will bring, and then there are all of those things that you won’t know or know how to do until you actually are a mother. It’s just frightening.

Weeks pregnant shirt...neat idea. :)

On top of that, it feels like every time I turn around a mother is telling me about all  of the things that happen to your body during and after pregnancy. Now that…that is some scary stuff! The actual birthing part sounds about as desirable as jumping in a shark tank. Then, I hear gross stories about what the children do. Best of all, there are the testimonies from mothers of teenagers… I just  keep telling them that if they ever want me to have children, they need to save the stories and leave me ignorant.

I'm not listening!

Every time a child throws up at school (it happens frequently), I think about how my own children are going to do that. I feel like there’s just going to be a lot of poop and vomit in motherhood. That’s not exciting. When I do laundry I am aware of how much it will increase when children come on the scene. There are also the thoughts like, “What if I am an awful mother?” There has sadly been a lot of negativity surrounding the idea of children.

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Tonight though I saw parenting in a different light. I saw something that overshadowed all the negativity I have been hearing, seeing, and thinking. I was invited to see one of my second graders lead worship…yes, a second grader leading worship. Her father is involved with the worship ministry at Heartland, and she said she wanted to take voice lessons so that she can lead worship like her daddy. Tonight she did just that. Her father and uncle played for her while she sang the songs she had been working on in voice lessons. It blessed my heart so much to see her have that desire at such a young age.

I couldn’t get a good picture of her because of the lighting and where I was sitting.

Tonight was very refreshing and encouraging for me. The whole point of parenting is to grow them in the Lord…teaching them what it means to know and love Him. I saw that tonight as parents did not suppress a young child’s desire, but they have encouraged it and set a model for her. It was also neat to see that the church had supported her in her young adventures by allowing her to do this. May we not discourage the little ones, but instead give them an outlet to grow.

She sang one of my favorite songs.

Tonight reignited that desire for motherhood. All of the poop, laundry, stretch marks, and sleepless nights will be worth it when my children know that their purpose is to know the Lord and make Him known. I have been praying for years that this is deeply instilled in my children and that they live it out. Thank you, Ashley and Michael for the Godly example you have set for your children.

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I have no doubt that my children will have a wonderful daddy! It warms my heart to think about how great of a father he will be and how I KNOW they will see Jesus through him. Fathers, you have no idea just how great of an impact and influence you have on your children! I have no worries when it comes to my children’s fatherly influence.

Ha!

Let me clarify though that I am not pregnant, and my plan is still to try to wait a little while before I get that way. My mother-in-law started praying curly-headed twins over me since the moment we got engaged, and my most commonly heard question is, “When are y’all gonna have a baby?”.  We need to at least get him done with seminary first. I need a minute. Ha I’ve just had a renewal of perspective.

Happy Saturday, reader friends!

Shaped by Grace,

Jessica Hardy