Deadly Poison

Have you ever said something that you wished you could take back? Have you ever felt the sting of words that were directed your way? Have you ever been around one of those people that seemed to never have their mouth closed? Are you one of those people that never stops talking? I have felt the sting of words, and I have likewise shook my head in regret of letting the words fly. We live in a society that says, “Say whatever you are feeling, say it when you feel it, and say EXACTLY what you’re thinking.” I believe that there is some wisdom that can be found in this philosophy, but I also believe that it can be very dangerous. I will explain.

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We have to speak to make it through our every day. We rejoice at our children’s first words. Speech is wonderful. I believe that the breakdown in our freedom of expression is when we do it despite how it affects others around us. We have come to applaud these people:

*Those who “have no fear of saying what’s on their minds”

*Those who “tell you like it is”

*Those who “don’t hold back”

I  believe that if there is a breakdown in communication, there is a breakdown in relationships. The key is how we communicate. All of the above sayings are simply excuses for being rude. Don’t get me wrong, I have used these excuses! I wouldn’t be writing this blog if it weren’t a lesson learned and still learning by myself.

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I do an awful lot of working with children, and although I have none of my own, I have the privilege of seeing great parents training up their children. I think it’s pretty much across the board that all parents and teachers teach about the same basics: (1) Share. (2) Be respectful (3) Don’t hit…you know…the basics. I teach the children that I interact with that it is OKAY to disagree, but you CAN do it respectfully! I hope that I gave my students many avenues to practice that, and I hope that I modeled it with them and when they saw me interact with my coworkers. That will be one of my goals as I continue to teach and become a mother one day.

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Ha! Just a little funny.

It saddens me to see relationships around me deteriorate because of the tongue. Zach tells me that if  I were a dog, I would be one of those yappy ones that thinks they’re monstrous. Yes, I know. I know. It was just last week that I let my tongue go on a guy that was speaking disrespectfully to me. I immediately regretted it. (Don’t get me wrong. I am in NO WAY justifying his behavior.) There is no power in letting your tongue speak whatever is on your mind. There is power in restraint. There is power in love. Be creative with those you disagree with. Are you in a position of authority? The people under your authority will be much more willing to please you if you treat them with respect. That goes for any relationship. I have NEVER regretted keeping my mouth shut, but oh so many times, I have regretted letting it open.

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God told Solomon that He would give him anything that he asked of Him. Solomon asked for wisdom. God was very pleased with that request, so He gave Solomon wisdom. He was so pleased that He also gave him riches. Solomon, was given abundant wisdom, wisdom from God. He wrote the book of Proverbs so that “we could know wisdom and instruction”. So this very wise man has this to say about our tongues:

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” –Proverbs 10:19

“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” –Proverbs 13:3

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” –Proverbs 15:1

“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” –Proverbs 17:27-28

 

Wow. That’s pretty straightforward. There are no clauses in those verses. This even applies to those difficult people, those people with different opinions, and even those people that come lashing at us. My prayer for myself if that in my speech I would encourage others and be loving. The difficult people are the ones that need it the most. The reason for my title is because in James 3, the lack of controlling our tongue is described as a deadly poison among other things. Go check it out. I’m not there yet, reader friends, but may we aim to keep that in mind in our every day.

 

Shaped by Grace,

Jessica Hardy

The Hardys in Hardy

 

Before I begin to tell you about our trip, I must say that I have had an internal battle about whether or not last names made plural receive an apostrophe. I feel like it is wrong to put one there, because the name is neither possessive, nor is it a contraction. If you know the answer for a fact, feel free to correct me.

 

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So, we went to Hardy, AR and stayed in a BEAUTIFUL cabin that a family friend let us reside in for our trip. Did I mention that it was beautiful? I think I wouldn’t mind living there.

We set out.

We arrived, and we saw historic downtown and all of the cute shops.

Then, there was this…

It makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? It made me laugh.

 

We went kayaking down the Spring River, next to the notorious railroad tracks of Hardy. I don’t think there is anywhere that campers and residents can escape the sounds of the train.

We started out in the river in our kayaks, and we noticed two things quickly. Number one: The water was COLD! Number two: There was lots of greenery (sorry, I’m not really sure was to technically term it) at the bottom of the river. Where the greenery was, there were also dragonflies. At first it was almost whimsical. Then, it started getting annoying, because they wouldn’t get off of us, and that greenery was everywhere!

 

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There were two other things that we didn’t notice right off the bat, but very soon came to our attention. One: This is sort of a lazy river. There aren’t many rapids, and you do much paddling to get you to the takeout. My arms hurt. Two: The clouds were getting dark. Yes, we looked at the forecast, and we knew it predicted rain. The percentage was low, and the sky looked great when we started. We were told by the company that we rented from that the bad weather was supposed to pass us. I told Zach that I thought going in the morning was a better time, but he insisted on the afternoon. About an hour and a half into our supposed to be four hour journey, the clouds became very dark. I voiced my concern to Zach and said we need to get to paddling faster. He smiled, turned his kayak around to go down a fall once more, and said, “Maybe it will miss us”. About 30-45 minutes later, the rain began. Then, so did the lightning. I gave him an “I told you so” look, and we paddled faster. We made it to our destination an hour earlier than predicted sopping wet. He hugged me, laughed, and said, “See, I told you we were going to be alright”! He got another look. After we had changed into dry clothes we could laugh about our adventure. We even came up with an embellished story to tell the grandkids when we’re old and they’re so intrigued by our adventurous lives together. Ha ha I’m just kidding. It won’t need embellishing.

I hope you have had a wonderful Monday, reader friends!

Shaped  by Grace,

Jessica Hardy

Anniversary

Well, I still have 18 days until my one-year anniversary. We just took our anniversary trip though, so I feel that it is a good idea to share about it on this Wednesday. We’re linking up with Jamie for What I’m Loving Wednesday!

This Wednesday I want to talk about how much I love marriage and my wonderful husband. Marriage is for sure one of the best gifts God has given us. It’s a beautiful picture of Christ and the Church, and it will sure teach you a lot about God’s unconditional love. There are many pieces of advice that you will receive, much unsolicited, when you are engaged and/or newlyweds.These are a few of the things that I have learned about marriage and my husband in my one year of marriage. Some were expected. Some were just plain surprises.
1. I’m a morning person. He’s not.

2. Selflessness towards your spouse promotes selflessness in your spouse. Demands and expectations promote resentment and division.

3. He has never ending energy…truly.

4. Communication is MORE than important!

5. He does many things in his sleep. He walks, talks, smooches, cuddles, snores, sings, elbows, takes orders, coaches basketball games, carries Olympians’ luggage…the list goes on and on and on My husband could sleep through absolutely ANYTHING! I’m also convinced that he’s narcoleptic.
6. It’s hard to be mad at each other when you’re praying together and you’re in the Word together. True story. Try it!
7. His driving is not therapeutic for me.
8. His song blunders are quite funny. 
9. We’re both really competitive. It’s good for our marriage that we’re on the same team.

10. Men aren’t mind readers. Don’t expect that. Say what you think, want, or feel. It’s helpful…really.
11. Although I am quite wonderful to spend time with, he needs his guy time. Let your man have his time with the guys, as you don’t forget to take time with your girls.
12. It’s VERY important to speak kindly to one another and to encourage each other. Point out your spouse’s strengths, and try to be creative/gentle in telling them about things that bother you. It’s not the easiest, but it’s so worth it on both ends. Don’t speak poorly to or about your spouse. The Bible says that a nagging wife is like a continual dripping faucet and that it is better to live in a desert land than with her. I don’t want to be like that to my husband!

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13. Laughter really is the best medicine. My husband is really good at making me laugh, and most of the time he doesn’t mean to. He’s just crazy, and he has a carefree attitude.

14. It is so wonderful to continue getting to know each other more deeply. We can complete each other’s sentences and know what the other is thinking before they even speak. I know that there are still many things to learn about my husband, and I have  many years to do it. I also know that we will both change over the years, so it will be a constant study of one another. Getting to know each other more intimately has by far been one of my favorite things about marriage.

I will share about our trip in my next post. I’m loving marriage with my crazy man! What are you loving this Wednesday?

Shaped by Grace,

Jessica Hardy